Tuesday, March 14, 2006
Mommy Wars
After the child arrives, to work or stay at home? I'm really torn. I've been watching Good Morning Show with the clips about "mommy wars". The stay at home mom vs working mom. My opinion is it is a personal choice and each family has to do what they feel is best for their household.
Today, I had to take our chihuahua to the vet for an eye exam. Knowing I had to take off this morning, I had to work very late last night to meet today's noon deadlines. My poor little chihuahua, he hurt his eye early last week and I had to wait to take him to his vet on Saturday. They couldn't help him because of the type of trauma he had, so he had to go to veterinary opthomologist (Yes, I know, amazing they haveI vet specialist). The specialist called Saturday afternoon to make an appointment for Monday. I felt guilty I couldn't take him Monday. As a matter of fact, the whole event of his eye trauma has made me feel guilty because he hurts and Scott and I haveto plan our work around him. If this was our child, we couldn't plan, we could only react. I cry as I type this because my chihuahua is such a little guy. He only weighs 4 lbs. Poor thing.
Anyway, I took him to his appointment and then brought him back home. I remotely logged into the office, forwarded my phone to my house, and worked from home. During my lunch hour I went to the grocery store and PetsMart. At the grocery store I ran into our very pregnant neighbor (she is due next week). She's a stay at home mom. Her son was at mommy's day out. Our neighbor uses this time to run errands. She loves being a stay at home mommy.
I keep wondering if we can financially swing it for me to stay at home. Right now, we wouldn't be able to do it living in the current house. We pay off the cars this year and even that doesn't help. Our mortgage requires both of our incomes. We love our neighborhood because we have PreK - 2nd year of college within a 3 mile radius. We could move to a less costly house which is in this radius, but I like our house and its costly to move. I probably can come up with all kinds of excuses why I can't afford to stay home.
My mom tells me I have good employer benefits because of my seniority; 3 weeks of vacation, 1 week of winter break, and 5-6 other holidays. That is a total of over a month off. A small token bonus when the company makes money. I also have the luxury to work from home occassionally. Mom told me I should work with my manager and try to find a solution to keep working full-time. Mom is afraid I may never be able to get another executive administrator job at the pay I am getting along with the benefits. I know she is right. Not about finding another executive administrator position, but about the pay and the benefits. I think I may be having feelings of staying home because I am doing two jobs right now until we find a replacement executive administrator to the VP. I am working long hours, so I may be a little burned out. Mom thinks when things "return to normal" around the office, I may return to my old optimistic self.
I'm not quite at a fork in the road, but I see it looming. Also, a lot of things can happen between now and then. We haven't DTC'ed yet, so we have another 12-14 months before making a decision. Then I have 12 weeks of unpaid family leave if I want to test the waters.
Today, I had to take our chihuahua to the vet for an eye exam. Knowing I had to take off this morning, I had to work very late last night to meet today's noon deadlines. My poor little chihuahua, he hurt his eye early last week and I had to wait to take him to his vet on Saturday. They couldn't help him because of the type of trauma he had, so he had to go to veterinary opthomologist (Yes, I know, amazing they haveI vet specialist). The specialist called Saturday afternoon to make an appointment for Monday. I felt guilty I couldn't take him Monday. As a matter of fact, the whole event of his eye trauma has made me feel guilty because he hurts and Scott and I haveto plan our work around him. If this was our child, we couldn't plan, we could only react. I cry as I type this because my chihuahua is such a little guy. He only weighs 4 lbs. Poor thing.
Anyway, I took him to his appointment and then brought him back home. I remotely logged into the office, forwarded my phone to my house, and worked from home. During my lunch hour I went to the grocery store and PetsMart. At the grocery store I ran into our very pregnant neighbor (she is due next week). She's a stay at home mom. Her son was at mommy's day out. Our neighbor uses this time to run errands. She loves being a stay at home mommy.
I keep wondering if we can financially swing it for me to stay at home. Right now, we wouldn't be able to do it living in the current house. We pay off the cars this year and even that doesn't help. Our mortgage requires both of our incomes. We love our neighborhood because we have PreK - 2nd year of college within a 3 mile radius. We could move to a less costly house which is in this radius, but I like our house and its costly to move. I probably can come up with all kinds of excuses why I can't afford to stay home.
My mom tells me I have good employer benefits because of my seniority; 3 weeks of vacation, 1 week of winter break, and 5-6 other holidays. That is a total of over a month off. A small token bonus when the company makes money. I also have the luxury to work from home occassionally. Mom told me I should work with my manager and try to find a solution to keep working full-time. Mom is afraid I may never be able to get another executive administrator job at the pay I am getting along with the benefits. I know she is right. Not about finding another executive administrator position, but about the pay and the benefits. I think I may be having feelings of staying home because I am doing two jobs right now until we find a replacement executive administrator to the VP. I am working long hours, so I may be a little burned out. Mom thinks when things "return to normal" around the office, I may return to my old optimistic self.
I'm not quite at a fork in the road, but I see it looming. Also, a lot of things can happen between now and then. We haven't DTC'ed yet, so we have another 12-14 months before making a decision. Then I have 12 weeks of unpaid family leave if I want to test the waters.
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It is a big debate...we've all been there. I've been writing about this issue and the Wall Street Journal had an article yesterday on women who transition back into the workforce after taking time off...
First you wrestle with staying home or going part-time then you wrestle with schools, and it never ends!!!
Motherpie.com
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First you wrestle with staying home or going part-time then you wrestle with schools, and it never ends!!!
Motherpie.com
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: Wednesday, March 15, 2006 9:27:00 AM
: Wednesday, March 15, 2006 9:27:00 AM << Home
