Sunday, February 19, 2006
How Will I Change
Becoming a parent is a scary and exciting event. I wonder if I am going to be a good mother? I try to imagine how my life will change. It got me thinking of some of the things that have changed over the last few years.
education & career
If you asked me seven years ago what I wanted to be, I would say, paralegal. I knew I would have to go back to school and get my bachelors degree. So, I did. I took an administrator position because the manager allowed me to work full-time, but he was flexible with my schedule so I could go to class. I graduated with a bachelors in business administration in 2003. During my last semester, I was accepted at Texas State University into their masters legal studies program.
Interesting how goals change. I was in my first semester of the legal studies program and realized how the job I am currently doing isnt' any different than legal studies. I got to know a lot of the students who were already working in law offices and was able to learn from their experience. Well, there were a few differences, but one difference made me rethink continuing my education. In my current job, I am not liable for billable hours. As a paralegal, you are a money making instrument for the law office. You have to be accountable for billable hours. So, it may mean you work a lot of hours. My current job, office administrator in marketing for a large corporation, well there are deadlines, but not the level of responsibility as in a law office. It is more of a team effort. When I realized that I was making more money than I would have as an entry level paralegal in a law firm, I decided to stay in my current profession.
The change I made was to become serious as an office professional. I started studying to become a certified administrative professional and read the litarature available. I didn't realize there was a career path. At the large corporation where I work I can move into various support areas with the level of education and experience I have. Granted, I am near the top of my salary cap for my profession but I am happy with the amount of money I make.
coffee
I hated coffee, but a few years ago, I tasted a cafe mocha from Starbucks and I was hooked. Scott was happy when I decided to buy a coffee maker for the house. Scott says I have expensive taste, so it is no surprise what turned me on to coffee was a $5 cup of coffee. Since we are trying to save money for the adoption, we went through many "cans" of coffee before I settled on Folgers gourmet blend. I like really strong coffee with a hefty dose of half and half cream. Go figure.
foods
I was pretty closed minded about foods until Scott started to make me try different things. I used to like well done steaks, now I like medium rare. I hated salmon and steak tuna. Love them now. A few other things I hated growing up which now I like: olives, asparagus, Chinese food, lobster, fresh green beans (I grew up on canned green beans), mushrooms, wine, various cheeses (grew up on American and yellow mild cheddar), pure maple syrup, breads other than white, diet soda, mineral water, over easy eggs, and gumbo.
shoes
I have really small feet. My shoe size is a child's shoe size. Needless to say, I am not a shoe fiend. My closet doesn't look like Emelda Marcos' closet. I should buy nice "adult looking" shoes even though they are really expensive. (remember I don't like to pay full price for clothing. Shoe shopping is painful to a person of cheap nature). About once a year, Scott and I drive to Houston to buy me a pair or two of shoes. There are not any shoe stores in Austin which sell my size. So, we make a weekend of it. We drive to Houston, I buy shoes, we visit family, we come home. Not sure what this has to do with changes, but maybe because I used to wear tennis shoes all the time. Now I have a reason to dress up and look my age.
cosmetics
Ditto here too. Not sure what it has to do with changes, but I used to not wear makeup. I hated the way it felt on my face. Now I wear Bare Minerals and other brands of mineral makeup. It looks more natural and it is quick to put on. Which will be important when the child(ren) arrive. I feel good when I put makeup on. It elevates my mood because I feel pretty.
hair
I used to have straight hair. Amazing what a good haircut and highlights do for my mood. A few years ago, it was not important area for me to maintain. Scott says I am a late bloomer. I must have come into feeling like a woman when I hit 30. He says I am more beautiful than when we first met because I am a lady not a tom boy anymore. I think I used to let my height be an excuse for not making myself look attractive. I was scared of my sexuality and of growing up. Amazing what one person can do. Scott made me see my inner beauty first. Once I learned to love myself on the inside, it moved to the outside. Of course ask him that when we are 30 minutes late to a family gathering because I can't find anything to wear, trying to cover a zit, or having a bad hair day!
seriousness
I used to be serious about life. Everything had to have a purpose. It is still important, but it is even more important to smell the roses and have fun. Scott has a funny sense of humor and it has rubbed off on me. I laugh more and try to not to take things so seriously. I try to roll with the punches. The word is "try". I am still working on it.
parenting
Scott and I have moms who had us when they were 18. Each of our moms told us while we were growing up to have fun first before having a family. We also had moms who were discovering themselves at the same time raising kids. Not all moms are like this, so I don't want to stereotype young parents. Our moms were different because their spouse's (our dads) were basically never at home. We felt our moms were disengaged from our lives because they were trying to find themselves.
According to our families, we were old when we got married. I was 28, and Scott was 27. Yep! I am the older woman! Ha!Ha! We are 11 months apart in age. We worked hard over the years, moved into a nice middle class neighborhood. Life has been good. The past five years we talked about having a family. About two years ago, we asked ourselves what were we waiting for? We were putting it off because we were waiting for the right moment. What is the right moment? We've traveled, we've had time to be together enjoyed each other's company and life together. We figured there is no right moment for us. We've accomplished most of our goals. Then about a year and half ago the biological clock started ticking loudly. This is the right moment. Ha!Ha!
I wonder how life will change as a parent? How will I change because I am parent? I l-o-v-e to sleep late on the weekends. This will probably be a luxury I will have to bribe Scott to allow me to do every now and then. I don't want to dis my parents. I believe they did the best they could in raising me, but I know I will be different. I know they will be different as grandparents than they were as parents because of the influence Scott and I have had on them. We have been fortunate to have them finally see life through their children's eyes, even though their children were grown. Will we have the same influence our children? What influence will they have on us?
A few years ago, Scott and I were the couple that would roll our eyes when we were placed near toddler children in a restaurant. We also would cringe of having airplane seats next to the screaming/crying kid. Flight attendant, drink please!
Amazing how things changed for us now that we WANT to be parents. When we are in a restaurant next to a toddler we make goofy faces at the child to attempt to make them grin. In stores, when a stroller passes by we can't help but look. We always say the same thing to the parents, "he/she is a cutie pie". In a plane, we offer to help give the parent a break and comfort the child.
When Scott and I were trying to have our biological children, we would imagine who our child would look like. A few days ago, Scott said when he daydreams, he now naturally imagines our children having Asian features. I admitted to him, I do to.
education & career
If you asked me seven years ago what I wanted to be, I would say, paralegal. I knew I would have to go back to school and get my bachelors degree. So, I did. I took an administrator position because the manager allowed me to work full-time, but he was flexible with my schedule so I could go to class. I graduated with a bachelors in business administration in 2003. During my last semester, I was accepted at Texas State University into their masters legal studies program.
Interesting how goals change. I was in my first semester of the legal studies program and realized how the job I am currently doing isnt' any different than legal studies. I got to know a lot of the students who were already working in law offices and was able to learn from their experience. Well, there were a few differences, but one difference made me rethink continuing my education. In my current job, I am not liable for billable hours. As a paralegal, you are a money making instrument for the law office. You have to be accountable for billable hours. So, it may mean you work a lot of hours. My current job, office administrator in marketing for a large corporation, well there are deadlines, but not the level of responsibility as in a law office. It is more of a team effort. When I realized that I was making more money than I would have as an entry level paralegal in a law firm, I decided to stay in my current profession.
The change I made was to become serious as an office professional. I started studying to become a certified administrative professional and read the litarature available. I didn't realize there was a career path. At the large corporation where I work I can move into various support areas with the level of education and experience I have. Granted, I am near the top of my salary cap for my profession but I am happy with the amount of money I make.
coffee
I hated coffee, but a few years ago, I tasted a cafe mocha from Starbucks and I was hooked. Scott was happy when I decided to buy a coffee maker for the house. Scott says I have expensive taste, so it is no surprise what turned me on to coffee was a $5 cup of coffee. Since we are trying to save money for the adoption, we went through many "cans" of coffee before I settled on Folgers gourmet blend. I like really strong coffee with a hefty dose of half and half cream. Go figure.
foods
I was pretty closed minded about foods until Scott started to make me try different things. I used to like well done steaks, now I like medium rare. I hated salmon and steak tuna. Love them now. A few other things I hated growing up which now I like: olives, asparagus, Chinese food, lobster, fresh green beans (I grew up on canned green beans), mushrooms, wine, various cheeses (grew up on American and yellow mild cheddar), pure maple syrup, breads other than white, diet soda, mineral water, over easy eggs, and gumbo.
shoes
I have really small feet. My shoe size is a child's shoe size. Needless to say, I am not a shoe fiend. My closet doesn't look like Emelda Marcos' closet. I should buy nice "adult looking" shoes even though they are really expensive. (remember I don't like to pay full price for clothing. Shoe shopping is painful to a person of cheap nature). About once a year, Scott and I drive to Houston to buy me a pair or two of shoes. There are not any shoe stores in Austin which sell my size. So, we make a weekend of it. We drive to Houston, I buy shoes, we visit family, we come home. Not sure what this has to do with changes, but maybe because I used to wear tennis shoes all the time. Now I have a reason to dress up and look my age.
cosmetics
Ditto here too. Not sure what it has to do with changes, but I used to not wear makeup. I hated the way it felt on my face. Now I wear Bare Minerals and other brands of mineral makeup. It looks more natural and it is quick to put on. Which will be important when the child(ren) arrive. I feel good when I put makeup on. It elevates my mood because I feel pretty.
hair
I used to have straight hair. Amazing what a good haircut and highlights do for my mood. A few years ago, it was not important area for me to maintain. Scott says I am a late bloomer. I must have come into feeling like a woman when I hit 30. He says I am more beautiful than when we first met because I am a lady not a tom boy anymore. I think I used to let my height be an excuse for not making myself look attractive. I was scared of my sexuality and of growing up. Amazing what one person can do. Scott made me see my inner beauty first. Once I learned to love myself on the inside, it moved to the outside. Of course ask him that when we are 30 minutes late to a family gathering because I can't find anything to wear, trying to cover a zit, or having a bad hair day!
seriousness
I used to be serious about life. Everything had to have a purpose. It is still important, but it is even more important to smell the roses and have fun. Scott has a funny sense of humor and it has rubbed off on me. I laugh more and try to not to take things so seriously. I try to roll with the punches. The word is "try". I am still working on it.
parenting
Scott and I have moms who had us when they were 18. Each of our moms told us while we were growing up to have fun first before having a family. We also had moms who were discovering themselves at the same time raising kids. Not all moms are like this, so I don't want to stereotype young parents. Our moms were different because their spouse's (our dads) were basically never at home. We felt our moms were disengaged from our lives because they were trying to find themselves.
According to our families, we were old when we got married. I was 28, and Scott was 27. Yep! I am the older woman! Ha!Ha! We are 11 months apart in age. We worked hard over the years, moved into a nice middle class neighborhood. Life has been good. The past five years we talked about having a family. About two years ago, we asked ourselves what were we waiting for? We were putting it off because we were waiting for the right moment. What is the right moment? We've traveled, we've had time to be together enjoyed each other's company and life together. We figured there is no right moment for us. We've accomplished most of our goals. Then about a year and half ago the biological clock started ticking loudly. This is the right moment. Ha!Ha!
I wonder how life will change as a parent? How will I change because I am parent? I l-o-v-e to sleep late on the weekends. This will probably be a luxury I will have to bribe Scott to allow me to do every now and then. I don't want to dis my parents. I believe they did the best they could in raising me, but I know I will be different. I know they will be different as grandparents than they were as parents because of the influence Scott and I have had on them. We have been fortunate to have them finally see life through their children's eyes, even though their children were grown. Will we have the same influence our children? What influence will they have on us?
A few years ago, Scott and I were the couple that would roll our eyes when we were placed near toddler children in a restaurant. We also would cringe of having airplane seats next to the screaming/crying kid. Flight attendant, drink please!
Amazing how things changed for us now that we WANT to be parents. When we are in a restaurant next to a toddler we make goofy faces at the child to attempt to make them grin. In stores, when a stroller passes by we can't help but look. We always say the same thing to the parents, "he/she is a cutie pie". In a plane, we offer to help give the parent a break and comfort the child.
When Scott and I were trying to have our biological children, we would imagine who our child would look like. A few days ago, Scott said when he daydreams, he now naturally imagines our children having Asian features. I admitted to him, I do to.
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wow, i really like your post. i am currently in the paralegal studies program here in florida. actually just started taking the intro class to the paralegal program. ive wondered if it was much different then working in admin position. my dh and i are LID as of 01/13/06 and waiting on our referral. UGH the wait!
www.ourchinamiracle.blogspot.com
www.ourchinamiracle.blogspot.com
Nice post!
I hate makeup but love Bare Minerals too. Thankfully there is a store a few miles away. I don't know what I'd do if they ever went out of business...wait, they won't go out of business with me shopping there!
I know what you mean about looking at all the babies. I used to walk right by, now I smile at every little baby and kid I see!
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I hate makeup but love Bare Minerals too. Thankfully there is a store a few miles away. I don't know what I'd do if they ever went out of business...wait, they won't go out of business with me shopping there!
I know what you mean about looking at all the babies. I used to walk right by, now I smile at every little baby and kid I see!
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