From Texas To China With Love

The agency received our application yesterday. I didn't see the e-mail come through because it went to my junk folder. They said it could be 4 to 10 days to approve the application. I don't think there will be a problem. Anyway, as fast as I would like the paperchase to go, we haven't received our funds yet from the adoption loan. So, my husband and I can't pay the first installment of agency fees at this time. The bank approved it, but we have go through some paperwork which could take another week or two.

Its interesting to think our baby (or babies) have not been conceived yet. She (or they) are only a thought in our hearts.

I mailed in our application yesterday 11/28/05. We should hear from GWCA by the end of the week.

I am mailing off the request for DH's birthcard today.

DH told his mom yesterday we were adopting from China. She is very supportive.

Today, I also go pick up my birth certificate from my mom's house. She was visiting family in the town where I was born, so she picked up a few copies of my birth certificate. I told her it was for a passport. On Thanksgiving I told her what my real intention was. I think she is still in shock.

You see, I am Hispanic and my husband is Anglo. My mom and my stepdad's side of family aren't too open to adoption, let alone adopting another ethnicity. When DH and I first started dating my mother and stepdad didn't like him. They do now, but it was an uphill battle. I'm surprised DH stuck by me :-) About three years after meeting each other and the whole family liking him we had a HUGE Hispanic wedding. It was the first large wedding we had in the families, but we wanted it because it proved the family accepted us as a couple.

Anyway, getting back to dear mom. She is in shock and I think she is trying to bite her tongue. She wants a grandchild, but I don't think it was the way she was expecting. She thought we were going to try again for a biological child. If we did adopt, she thought the child would be from Mexico or Central America.

I told mom we were adopting from China because the process is streamlined and predictable. We WILL have a daughter within a certain time frame.

I love mom, but she tends to be closed minded. She was the one who raised me to socialize with all ethnic groups. Why is she so shocked that MY family is blended.

By the way, my biological dad and his family are pretty open minded. My great, great, great Grandmother was Chinese. She went to Mexico during the Chinese Exclusion Act in the late 1800's and married a Mexican. So, I have Spanish, Chinese, Indian, and French background. In the current extended family the grandchildren and great grandchildren are mixed ethnicity of Anglo, Indian, and one family member who has a black child. Grandma loves them all. She doesn't care. She is very progressive for a 90 year "young" lady. She is very happy for DH and I. She hopes she'll be around to see our addition to the family. Of all of her grandchildren (not including great-grandchildren), DH and I are the only ones who don't have kids. There are over 15 of us. YES! That side of the family is rather large.

DH and I were married on Jan 2, 1999.

Since I was four, I've known I could have children with a translocated chromosome. My brother was born in 1974 with that condition. He is now 31 . He is severely physically and mentally challenged. Mom said at that time, in their small town, that sonograms were not the norm. Also, they didn't have amnio and CVS.

DH (dear hubby) and I knew it would be a big decision to have our own children because I may have a child with that condition or may have several miscarriages.

When I turned 33 (2003), the biological clock started to tick -- quietly. By 34, it was much louder. A private domestic adoption was out of the question because of the cost and emotional risk involved. We decided to adopt through the state foster system. The agency we went through was great and they were very honest about the challenges we would face. We decided that foster adoption would not be the right fit for us.

In June we decided to have our own children even though we knew the risk. We were devastated to lose the baby in Sept 2005, but we were told the baby was effected by the translocated chromosome. We both said we were willing to try again, but I couldn't go through the emotional rollercoaster again.

A few weeks ago we attending an adoption workshop through Great Wall China Adoption. We know a few people who have adopted through them and they have been very happy with their experience through this agency.

We chose international adoption because a domestic adoption could be slow and also lead to an emotional rollercoaster ride. We have a friend who had a child placed through an open adoption and a few months later the biological mom changed her mind.

We chose Great Wall because the China adoption process is predictable and the children are taken care of. This agency has a really good reputation.

We haven't told any family members about the adoption except my mother.

I did get a call from my mother-in-law wishing me a happy belated birthday. She asked if I got anything special for my birthday. I had to bite my tongue because I wanted to tell her, but I thought it would be best to wait to tell her when she visits over the Christmas holidays. Not that she won't be open to it. I know she'll be very happy and supportive. That way we can have a toast.

We have decided to try for twins even though they are rare. We were told the Chinese government has different requirements than adopting one child. If we don't get twins we will still be extremely happy with one child.

I will mail our application on Monday. We are very excited to start our family.

I know the journey will be exciting, but also I have to prepare myself for everything not going perfect...sort of like a wedding.

We already ran into one hurdle. DH was born in Louisiana. The state vital records archive is closed in New Orleans. I had to call the parish he was born in and see if they could provide any information. They said they could give me a birthcard, but not a birth certificate. Luckily the US gov't will accept the card as proof of citizenship for a passport.

The birthcard for the dossier may be a different story. I hope it doesn't cause a problem.

DH and I had Thanksgiving at my house. Grandma G. and Aunt T. were kind of insensitve without even knowing it.

A few months ago, September 2005, DH and I had a miscarriage. A few months before that, March 2005, we had started to go through the adoption process for a state foster adoption. We didn't think a state foster adoption was the right fit for our family.

Anyway, getting back to Thanksgiving. This was the first time Grandma G. and Aunt T had seen our house. We bought the house with the intention of having starting a family. Anyway, Grandma G, during the house tour said we should have 5 kids with a house this size. I was completely floored. I could only fake a smile. It has only been 2 months since losing our son.

A little later, Aunt T wanted to check her web e-mail on my computer because her son has sent the sonogram pictures of his son! I thought it was rude. I could only fake another smile. I helped her out to view the photos. She then has the nerve to ask me to print them out so she could go show the family. She wouldn't be quiet! Inside my mind I was crying.

I still had a good time and think I handled everything well. DH knew I was upset because I was so quiet and I had a distant expression in my eyes.

That evening I was determined to finish our application to adoption. I told DH I wanted it to be my birthday present.

Happy Thanksgiving. Today I am 35 years old. DH and I have decided to adopt from China. This is the best birthday present.